i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
