Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Fuck appropriateness.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize