Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
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