I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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