do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
