How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
