what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
my liver is dry heaving
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
