WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
do herpes really smell.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
