im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
