Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize
