is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
