Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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