no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
