I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize