Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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