Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
