I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
