babies were throwing up all over the place
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
