i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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