Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
you never un-have a 4some
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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