Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
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