So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
