I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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