yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
