This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
well most of my day revolves around power hour
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
