hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
