i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
