it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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