Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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