So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
