Have you finally orgasmed yet?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Watching her eat just hurts me
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
