they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
