**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
