feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
it glows. i had to have it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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