new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
