Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
