it's too hot outside to masturbate.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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