at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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