The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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