Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
