every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
