Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
