I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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