Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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