naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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