I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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