i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
