Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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