Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She needs sedatives and a leash
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
