I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
