I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
