I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Randomize
