Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
It was confusing and full of hummus
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Randomize
