I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize