I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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