Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize