Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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