Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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