Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
