He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
