For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I am one with the molecules
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
