Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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